


MBD

by hazelandglasz



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bad Puns, Blow Jobs, Dick Pics, Fluff, M/M, Matchmaking, Riding, Semi-Public Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-22
Updated: 2015-02-04
Packaged: 2018-03-08 15:00:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3213440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazelandglasz/pseuds/hazelandglasz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anonymous asked<br/>my boss is always telling me how perfect her son would be for me and she promises he’s coming to the next holiday party and don’t worry he’s heard all about me too and ALSO there’s this dude i slept with once a couple of months ago and sometimes he still sends me dick pics when i ask him to at 3 in the morning cause seriously dude’s got a good dick AU. With Klaine, please? ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Most Beautiful Dick

Kurt is in the middle of a meeting with Victoria and two of the house’s designers when his phone vibrates in his pocket.

A quick look at the clock on the wall lets him know that it is 3.28, which means that Mr. Most Beautiful Dick Kurt ever had the pleasure to suck is 2 minutes early with his daily picture—and Kurt knows that he’ll get another one in the middle of the night, just because it’s a day that ends in Y—, and he fights the blush he can feel coming up with all of his strength.

“Kurt are you okay?”

Victoria looks concerned which can only mean that his blush is visible enough, and Kurt tries valiantly to smile. “I’m fine, thank you Mrs. Anderson—can I just open a window?”

His boss smiles benevolently at him, waving towards the AC with her remote. “Don’t you get sick, Kurt—I want you in great shape for the Easter Party.”

For a split second, Kurt allows himself to hope that she’ll stop there.

And then—

 

“Did I tell you that Blaine confirmed his ticket?”

Unique and Kitty take advantage of standing behind Victoria to snicker at Kurt, and he puts his best professional smile on. “No you didn’t. That’s wonderful.”

Yeah, that’s wonderful, to have your boss trying to play matchmaker with her son who is studying—shocker—interior design.

At Pratt, sure, but still, Kurt can’t help but judge someone who so readily follows into his mommy’s footsteps.

Anyway, she has stubbornly refused to show him any picture, which can only indicate that Mommy’s precious Blainey looks more like Elephant Man than Apollo, and the whole encounter reeks of failure.

But he’s not about to say it to his boss, so he simply excuses himself to get some water for his face.

And to pull his phone from his pocket to see the new dick pic.

That is truly a magnificent piece of anatomy, and Kurt doesn’t regret anything about the bathroom encounter except not getting the man’s name.

Then again, who gives a one-night stand his phone number but not his name?

Anyway, this time, the [picture ](http://showmeyourdickpics.tumblr.com/post/108525887223/hi)shows the man’s beautiful hand around his cock, and a part of Kurt’s brain muses about how comfie the man’s jacket looks while the rest is busy remembering how it felt on his tongue, against the roof of his mouth, how it tasted and how utterly perfect it was to close his lips around it and just suck.

_When are you coming back into town?_  he sends, because if MBD comes back to Lima, he is not above setting up a booty call.

**For Easter—aww, do you miss me?**

_I miss your dick, you dick_

**I think my dick misses your mouth—looks, it’s crying**

The next picture focuses on the head of that exquisite penis, and true to form, it’s shining with precome and saliva floods Kurt’s mouth.

_Poor thing_

**Poor me :(**

_Easter you said?_

_;)_

**Easter it is - so close and yet so far**

**;)**

—-

The Easter party is going strong, Kurt’s [Peep-tinis ](http://oceanmagazine.com/ocean/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Peep-Cocktail.jpg)and the deviled eggs circulating around the room as planned.

Kurt spots Victoria across the room and sighs, resigning himself to endure whatever dullness is upon him and thinking about his plans for the evening.

This time, he’s going to get his way with The Dick and get it hard.

“Victoria, are you enjoying the party?”

His boss looks lovely in her [Dior dress](http://ris.fashion.telegraph.co.uk/RichImageService.svc/imagecontent/1/TMG9574645/m/dior-spring-summer_2354111a.jpg), particularly with that [brooch ](https://img1.etsystatic.com/017/0/5359799/il_570xN.566442129_bndn.jpg)she has close to her collarbone that only enhances the delicate caramel tone of her skin.

“Oh, I am, Kurt, thank you so much,” she says enthusiastically, reaching for his shoulder. “Now, if I can steal you from the bar for a moment, you know there is someone I want you to meet.”

“Of course,” Kurt replies, handing the Peeptini shaker to one of the waiters before following her through the crowd.

“Bay, honey,” Victoria calls towards a young man with his back to them and oh, that is a fine ass, maybe Kurt was too quick to judge, “there is someone I wanted you to meet.”

The man’s shoulders sag briefly before he turns to rolls his eyes at his mother.

But Kurt doesn’t really have any room left in his brain to think about that because Blaine is MBD and how. What. Again, how?

What.

The.

Hell.

“Mom, you know that I don’t need you to—Hello.”

Kurt blinks, silencing his brain and looking back from the ceiling where he was looking for an answer to smile at Blaine.

“Hi.”


	2. Most Perfect Lips

Victoria leaves them alone—small mercies—and Kurt keeps smiling like a moron.

Luckily for him, Blaine is mirroring him.

Long story short, they are holding their cocktail glasses and smiling like morons in a corner of the room until Blaine clears his throat, shaking his head as he runs his fingers through his hair.

“Small world, uh?”

Kurt wants to pull him by his tie in his office and just kiss him senseless—for starters—, but that would really be poor etiquette, now, wouldn’t it.

So he simply finishes his drink, plucks the glass from Blaine’s fingers and puts them on a nearby table before brushing his fingers against Blaine’s hand. “There is something in my office I want you to see,” he says, hoping that it sounds innocent enough that nobody will pay them attention.

As they start walking out of the room, Blaine leans forward to whisper in Kurt’s ear.

“I hope the something is how your underwear look around your ankles.”

Kurt smirks, only looking over his shoulder. “It’s like you read my mind.”

Once they are safely isolated from the crowd, from Blaine’s mom—and Kurt wills that thought into oblivion as soon as it pops in his mind—and from prying eyes, Kurt pushes Blaine against his door, careful to avoid the door knob, and does what he wanted to do.

The kiss is a blend of emotions, hard and passionate and gentle and soft and mind-blowing, earth-shattering and giving the World its coherence once again.

All in one, as Kurt savors the taste of the sweet cocktail on Blaine’s tongue, the pressure of it against his own as they tease each other, the sensation of Blaine’s fingers digging into his waist and on the small of his back before switching their position.

Blaine carefully cups the back of Kurt’s head as he twirls them around to avoid hitting him with the door—and deepening the kiss in the progress—before sliding down his body.

“I seem to remember something that needed my attention,” he says coyly, getting to his knees between Kurt’s legs and wasting no time before opening his pants and pulling them, along with his underwear, down to his ankle. “Ah, there it is. Totally deserving my attention,” he adds, winking at Kurt as he strokes him to full hardness. “As a student in the field,” he continues, acting innocent as his thumb rubs circles around the head of Kurt’s cock, “would you give me some pointers?”

Kurt laughs, covering his eyes with his hand, and a good thing he does too because the visual of what follows would have shortened it drastically, for Blaine licks along the underside of his cock before wrapping his lips around the head.

“Holy shit,” Kurt breathes, reaching for Blaine’s shoulder for support. “Oh my God.”

Blaine hums, wiggling his butt to show his appreciation at Kurt’s commending babbles, and he gets into a rhythm of licking, sucking, bobbing his head and fondling Kurt’s balls that has him on the verge of coming way too soon.

Besides, he had plans for his evening with the man he called Most Beautiful Dick, plans that involve him coming because of that dick, and while he really, truly enjoys the fact that Blaine has apparently the Most Talented Mouth Kurt has ever had the joy of having around his cock, he likes to stick to his plan.

So he taps on Blaine’s shoulder to get his attention—from the aborted thrust of Blaine’s hips, he seems to really, really be into it, God bless him—and tells him so in carefully chosen words.

As in, “I want to come all over your chest as I ride you into the night, what say you?”

Which has Blaine standing up, tucking Kurt back into his pants carefully—with a last kiss to Kurt’s cock, far too lovingly compared to the truly pornographic position they were just in—and pulling him by the hand.

“Come with me, I know a shortcut to get out of the building.”

—-

Kurt’s plan is even more awesome when executed—at least in his opinion, and Blaine’s face of ecstasy as Kurt fucks himself onto his cock would indicate that he agrees.

They managed to get to Kurt’s apartment in record time, and Kurt barely took the time to open himself up with three fingers and maybe too much lube before throwing a condom at Blaine, forcing him to lie down on his back and lining himself up with Blaine’s truly magnificent cock.

His hands firmly on Blaine’s chest, Kurt sinks on it, slowly taking him in and sighing at the relief of finally having what he wants.

Blaine’s hands are on his hips, gently massaging his thighs and the top of his ass, randomly pulling his cheeks apart and Kurt moans as it changes slightly the way Blaine’s cock slides back, making the drag different, making the pleasure more intense.

With the heightened arousal they were both already in when they stumbled in Kurt’s bedroom, it doesn’t come as a surprise that Kurt can feel heat and pleasure pooling in his belly to rush to his balls and to his cock sooner than usual, nor that Blaine bends his head against the pillows, biting his lower lip as he matches Kurt’s rides with his own thrusts.

The room echoes with their shouts of pleasure and nonsensical declarations of love and appreciation that go hand in hand with a truly well earned orgasm, and Kurt slumps against Blaine’s chest, not really caring about the fact that he’s smearing his come and their respective sweats and making a fucking mess—too blissed out to care, really.

Blaine’s arms are around him, his fingers lightly stroking the back of his head while his other hand is splayed across his back, and they breathe in sync, basking in the moment.

“Was it—” Kurt starts, a bit breathless still but needing to know any way, “was it a one time thing?”

Blaine takes a deep breath—and Kurt has to bite down on the giggle that threatens to escape him as he rises with Blaine’s belly—his fingers digging a little bit into Kurt’s scalp in a delicious massage.

“Do I strike you as the kind of man who would have a tryst with a man, discover that said man is my mother’s employee, the man she wants me to meet and date, only to have sex with him and then run into the sunset?”

“When you put it that way …”

“Besides,” Blaine continues, turning his head to look into Kurt’s eyes, “I don’t think I could part from you now. You’ve ruined me for any other man, Kurt Hummel.”

“Well then,” Kurt says, perfectly aware that Blaine can feel the way his heart is beating a stampede in his chest, “I won’t say goodbye to you any time soon.”


	3. Most Awesome Husband

_Five years later_

Blaine loves his mother.

Hell, he loves his whole family, really he does, even his brother, and even with all of their idiosyncrasies combined, but this is getting ridiculous.

“This” is his first Christmas in Ohio with Kurt as a married couple, and as such, he would have appreciated some Yuletide celebrations of the private kind—he had this plan of hanging mistletoe above all of the bed, so they would have to kiss all over it too.

But no, of course not, because Blaine’s life never goes the way it was supposed too—granted, meeting Kurt was not the way he had ever planned to meet the love of his life and it’s one of the happiest “accident” of his life, but here he is, beating yolks and sugar to help his mother because she asks so nicely and he did get his puppy eyes from her.

“Bay, sweetie, you’re so good in the kitchen help me make the [Yule Log](http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Tiramisu-Yule-Log-51142210) while Kurt gets some rest—I know that your latest collection was a big hit, we have to talk all about it!”

“… Sure, Mama.”

So Kurt is lying on the bed—his teenage self bed, no less, oh the pictures it makes … If only they had met when they were teenagers …—while Blaine bakes and cooks and ganaches his way around, listening to his mother babbling about how proud of them both she is, and when is she going to be a grandmother because “you know me, babi, I want to be an energetic grandma and I’m not getting any younger …”

“You’re very young and in great shape, mama.”

Victoria giggles and smacks him lightly on the shoulder. “You are such a flatterer, sweetheart, but keep the compliments to your husband.”

Blaine can’t contain the beaming smile that spreads on his lips at the mere mention of Kurt, and Victoria coos at him while simultaneously trying to steal some of the coffee filling.

But Blaine smacks his wooden spoon on the back of her hand to keep her fingers out of the bowl—and giving her some of the filling anyway, chuckling when she starts licking and eating it with wordless appreciation.

He’s almost done with the whole cake, berating his mother for turning things around—”I thought I was supposed to help you out, not do the whole thing by myself”—when his phone vibrates in his pocket.

“There, you can roll the damn thing,” he tells his mother with a hip bump before washing his hands and taking his phone out.

It’s only by luck that Victoria is humming and singing loudly enough that it covers his loud gasp as he opens the new message.

Coming from Kurt.

A [picture](https://40.media.tumblr.com/52eb82544c55f4a25ec32ae82fb82745/tumblr_ni5kz6i8qT1u7hy8io1_540.jpg) of him and a part of his anatomy Blaine has grown very fond of.

**“I woke up all alone.”**

As discreetly as he can, Blaine types back.

_You cannot do this to me my mother is right here_

_?!?_

**Come on Santa, come ride me through the night**

_That makes you Rudolf in this very perverted Christmas scenario?_

**Well, a part of me is very very red, and it ain’t my face**

Blaine has to bite his lower lip to keep from laughing at the ridiculous hotness of his husband.

“Mom,” he says slowly, pocketing his phone as he approaches his mother—who, bless her soul, is busy decorating the icing to make sure it looks like an actual log, “I can’t see the sugary mushrooms and your little gnomes anywhere.”

Victoria looks up, startled and surveys the counters—and Blaine closes his hand on the aforementioned items in his pocket. “Fudge,” she groans before looking at the iced cake. “Can you put it in the fridge, I’ll just run to the grocery store.”

“Of course mama.”

It’s 3pm on Christmas Eve, and his mother will not settle for anything less than what she has in mind.

Time for a little afternoon delight with his very own reindeer.

The moment his mother’s car is out of the alley, Blaine rushes up the stairs and slams the door opened and he’s rendered breathless by the sight that welcomes him.

Because Kurt is on his hands and knees on the bed, his ass towards Blaine and his fingers shoved up his ass.

“Kurt, oh my God …,” Blaine says as he leans against the doorframe, his cock painfully hard in his pants.

“Come on, Blaine, get over here already, fuck, ugh,” Kurt groans, rocking his hips against his hand, and his voice gets Blaine out of his trance, gets him to practically rip his pants off to get to Kurt.

“My poor little elf,” Blaine coos as he wraps his hand around Kurt’s cock, his other hand around Kurt’s wrist as he keeps opening himself up. “You need Santa’s candycane?”

“You’re lucky you have such a beautiful dick,” Kurt tells him with a glare thrown over his shoulder. “Keep your puns to yourself and give it to—aaaah,” he sighs, as Blaine pats his hand away from his ass and sinks into him, inch by inch.

“God your ass is the best place on Earth,” Blaine whispers as he puts his hands on his second favorite place on Earth, the slight curve of Kurt’s hips that fits his palm as if it had been made for it, “I love you so much.”

Kurt purrs, literally purrs under his hands, rocking against him and bowing his back. “Hmmm, love you too honey, you are so good, you feel so—umph!”

Blaine gets into a fast-paced rhythm, knowing that he got them a delay but not a forever—a long, drawn-out love-making session will have to wait for them to be back home in New York.

But quick and sweaty and rushing through their orgasms is good too, isn’t it?


	4. Most Beautiful Dick, the first encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What about that first time they met, uh?  
> How could I not write the first time they met (and Kurt saw that MBD ?)

> Set three weeks  ** _before_  **part 1

Kurt doesn’t—

It’s not the way he usually behaves, okay.

But he just got promoted at work, from elegant coffee delivery man to actual, for realsies, assistant to the one and only Mrs. Victoria Anderson, designer to only the richest and most famous, and Kurt wants to celebrate.

So he’s drinking more than usual, flirting more than usual, and probably rubbing his ass against one particularly cute dancer’s crotch more aggressively than usual.

But the man, cute, and strong, and well endowed if his ass is not blowing (ha) things out of proportion, doesn’t seem to mind, his hands closed around Kurt’s waist even increasing the raunchiness of their dance.

“God you’re a fiery little thing,” the man whispers in his ear, his warm breath ironically sending shivers down Kurt’s spine.

 

“And a hungry one too,” Kurt replies, because it’s the truth and he obviously has no filter (or fucks to give) left: now that he’s pressed to the man’s front, he can really feel the length and girth of the man’s cock and he is overwhelmed with the need to suck it, and suck it good.

It’s been months since he was in a relationship, months since he got properly laid, and even without getting laid, Kurt loves the act of fellatio, the power it gives him even if he’s on his knees, the feeling of a man’s cock in his mouth, stretching his lips, weighing down on his tongue …

“Wanna suck you now,” he finally says in a breath, his hands sliding as best he could between their bodies and petting the cock that twitches under his touch. “Oh, you want it too.”

“You have no idea,” the man growls before taking Kurt’s hand in his and pulling him away from the dancefloor and towards … the bar?

“Trust me, I know a shortcut to the backroom.”

—

The stranger stops in the bathroom to get a condom from the vending machine, and then he opens a secret door, twists a locker, and voilà, they are away from the crowd, just the two of them in a small, dark room with just enough light to allow Kurt to see where he’s going.

He takes the condom from his one-night stand (all odds pointing to that outcome, but Kurt doesn’t even mind it if he can get what he wants right now) and gets to his knees, opening the tight pants that leave nothing to the imagination but are still blocking his view.

He focuses on sliding them to the man’s ankles (lovely calves and thighs, by the way) before bringing his gaze to what obsesses him already.

Oh.

Wow.

Okay, if Kurt could give awards, he would give this dick the title of Most Beautiful Dick to ever be around his face.

Just the sight of it, long and thick but not frighteningly so, just right (Kurt almost loses his shit picturing himself as a Goldilocks of Blowjobs), flushes a beautiful pink with the red head, the perfect curve of that penis, the pulsing veins that run around the shaft, the nicely trimmed hair at the base …

If the Renaissance sculptors had carved the perfect penis, it would be this one.

It makes his mouth water, and Kurt has spend enough time admiring it—now he wants to worship it.

And lips are used for prayers, right [William](http://www.shakespeare-navigators.com/romeo/T15.html)?

Licking his lips, Kurt starts by stroking it, to get an actual feel of the width of this Beautiful Dick, and again, he could write sonnets about it, it’s perfect; Kurt can tell: it’s going to stretch his mouth, get some tension in his jaw but not hurt or gag him.

Perfect, he muses as he rolls down the condom, snapping it a little just for the tease of it.

Then Kurt moves forwards, licking and kissing the whole cock from base to head and back, relentlessly getting into a rhythm that has no sense but for him.

Up up down up down down up up up, around the head, suck a little and back down, up up down up down down up down down down …

The man’s is leaning against the wall, his thighs trembling with the control he’s trying to keep on himself, and Kurt smirks—there is that rush of power he gets, but he’s also acknowledging the fact that he has chosen his partner well—before satisfying his need, closing his lips around the head for good, using his tongue to press against it, tracing the prominent vein as he slowly, gently, takes more of the shaft in his mouth.

The latex sure comes as a barrier between his taste buds and the shaft, but Kurt can still feel its warmth, the way blood is pulsing in the organ and makes it twitch in his mouth.

Kurt blindly reaches for the man’s ass, leaning against his legs to push him closer to him, giving him a silent authorization to move his hips, to fuck his cock in and out of Kurt’s mouth.

Kurt loves giving head, but he hates having to deal with a passive partner.

Most Beautiful Dick owner gets the memo, though, and gently puts his hands on top of Kurt’s head, not pushing him or anything like that, just anchoring himself in the moment, and his thrusts are almost lazy, matching Kurt’s slow bobs of the head, more of that Dick getting in his mouth, his free hand stroking what’s left out of it.

God this is so good, Kurt really missed it, and to get back on the horse (no pun intended) with such a fine specimen … he couldn’t have asked for more.

He can feel his own cock twitching in his pants, and it feels so nice, this perfect dick in his mouth, the smell of clean sweat in his nostrils, the softness of that round asscheek in his hand, that Kurt knows that he won’t last very much longer.

The man makes beautiful sounds, groans and moans and praises as he starts trembling, his fingers freezing in Kurt’s hair and pulling just enough to give him that little edge of not-exactly-pain that Kurt loves.

Kurt slides his hand from the man’s cock to his balls, rolling them between his fingers to give him the push he obviously needs to let his orgasm take over, and sure enough, it doesn’t make more than three or four suctions for the man’s back to bow, pushing more of his cock in Kurt’s mouth as it twitches and pulses even more against Kurt’s tongue, the condom heavier and his balls tensing under Kurt’s fingertips.

The knowledge that he did this, he brought this man to his figurative knees, he, Kurt, managed to get his hands on the man’s self-control, is what pulls his orgasm from Kurt’s balls, like a lava flow that burns and destroys everything in the most beautiful way.

“Wow,” the man pants, a beaming smile on his face when Kurt looks up, “you really were hungry.”

“And you really needed it,” Kurt replies as he gently pulls the condom off the man’s slowly softening cock, sighing as he tucks him back in his underwear and pants.

Goodbye, Most Beautiful Dick, I’ll miss you.

“Say, I’m out of town tomorrow morning, but do you want to exchange phone numbers?”

Ah, maybe not goodbye after all.


	5. BBE

_ Set three months after the Easter party _

On their fourth date, three months into the “real” relationship, Kurt is faced with a conundrum.

On one hand, he really wants to spend the evening with Blaine (and the night, and the early morning, and maybe the whole following day if he’s lucky).

On the other hand, Rachel and Santana are throwing him a “surprise” party to celebrate his new apartment--not a housewarming party, since he already had two of those, one with them all and one with Blaine (third date).

But maybe this conundrum has a very simple solution.

It’s just the magnitude of what it means for their relationship that makes Kurt hesitate.

Invite Blaine to the party and have him meet with his friends, with his gang, with--

With the two women who have been unforgiving with each boyfriend he tried to introduce into their lives.

Oh God Santana is going to rip Blaine into little confettis that Kurt will only be able to throw pathetically around himself to celebrate his forever-aloneness.

Or maybe she won’t.

Kurt snorts in his coffee--yeah, right, this is Santana Lopez he’s thinking about here, not a gentle fairy godmother.

Then again, Blaine has shown that he can woo pretty much anybody off their feet.

This could work.

This will work, and Blaine is going to charm his best friends and they will all be happy and he will have a gorgeous boyfriend with his friends’ stamp of approval …

Oh God this is going to be a disaster.

\---

Against all odds, Blaine feels pretty relaxed.

Sure, when Kurt pulled him inside and introduced him as his boyfriend, the two girls sitting on Kurt’s couch morphed into two lionesses spotting a boar in the savannah.

But as Blaine offered the bottle of wine he had brought especially for the occasion, smiles appeared on their faces and Kurt let out a sigh of relief by his side, taking his hand and sitting on the loveseat to enjoy the evening.

And here they are, sipping wine, eating pieces of cheese on crackers that are absolutely delicious--where did Kurt manage to find that quality in Ohio, that he must find out (but he knows that he has ways of getting … well, his way, with his boyfriend).

His _boyfriend_.

The one night-stand-best-blowjob ever (Kurt is still referenced as BBE in his phone) turned into a proper boyfriend and Blaine never saw it coming.

It’s like one minute he was just flirting with a nameless man he had spend an enjoyable portion of one evening, and the next it was “oh, there you are”.

“Where did you go?”

Blaine blinks, returning to reality, and faces a giggling Rachel and a smirking Santana.

“Wha?”

Kurt laughs silently next to him, shaking shoulders brushing against his arm. “We lost you here for a moment,” he says, kissing Blaine’s temple. “You have a very dopey smile on your face.”

Blaine smiles at him, reaching for Kurt’s hand, and Santana groans, still smirking. “Oh God, you’re going to say that you were thinking about the two of you, aren’t you?”

Blaine feels his cheeks heating up and Santana starts cackling. “Oh dios mio, i bet it’s ridiculous and sickenly sweet.”

Actually, Blaine was thinking of the way Kurt’s cock felt on his tongue when they found each other once again, but okay, he can go for sweet.

He could go for a definitely sweet something right now, but it wouldn’t be very polite nor appropriate.

“Now that I think about it,” Rachel interjects, “Kurt, you never told us how the two of you met!”

They look at each other and for the first time in their relationship, share a silent conversation.

_No way_

**_Nope_ **

_Not telling my bff’s that I met your dick before meeting you_

**_Well …_ **

_Don’t you dare_

“Let me guess,” Santana says, giving them a pointed look. “Kurt let his handkerchief fall to the ground and Blaine here managed to find him, the embroidered monogram his only clue.” She snorts, before affecting a swooning pose. “But it was fate, you see.”

Rachel laughs next to her. “My turn, my turn,” she calls, and Blaine sits deeper into the armchair, sipping his drink and enjoying this silliness.

There’s no way they’ll find out anyway.

“Hmm,” Rachel hums, a frown on her face as she thinks, “I know! Your coffee orders got mixed up and then your fingertips brushed as you made the exchange and--”

“God, Berry, you’re even worse than them!”

“Excuse you, Lopez, but a little bit of romance is nothing to be ashamed of!”

“I’m gonna puke it’s so sweet.”

“But look at them!”

Both girls turn back to them, and Blaine smiles innocently, his hand curved around Kurt’s knee.

Santana looks at it, back at both their faces and gulps the remain of her drink. “I’ll give you that, Berry,” she says, standing up and walking in the kitchen’s direction, “they are incredibly sweet.”

Kurt sighs--again, it sounds like relief--until Santana’s voice rings in the apartment. “Booooooooring!”

And suddenly, Kurt wants to rub it in both their faces.

That he met Blaine by being naughty and dirty and by sucking him good, and that their relationship is built on dick pics and flirtatious messages.

And more quality blowjobs, rim-jobs, hand-jobs and fucking that they could ever see in a lifetime of bad porn.

**_Kurt what are you doing?_ **

_Nothing_

**_Thought so_ **

**_That is your hand on my crotch, though_ **

_No it isn’t_

**_Then you have a very perverted ghost_ **

“Maybe we should leave the two of you alone,” Rachel says, voice higher than it was earlier, and there is a definite blush high on her cheeks.

“Not so boring after all,” Santana drawls, leaning against the doorframe before Rachel pulls energetically on her arm to pull her along. “Hey! I want to get my motor revving!

They can hear Rachel saying something about not seeing how two men getting their freak on can get Santana’s motor revving, but Blaine is glad that they left before he could get Santana’s answer to that particular question.

Because he has now a lap full of one horny Kurt Hummel, gyrating on top of him and rubbing their erections together through their pants and it feels deliciously tantalizing.

“What do you say, Mr. Anderson,” Kurt purrs in his ear, “what about a repeat of our first encounter?”

Blaine laughs, reaching for the back of Kurt’s neck to pull him in a kiss before letting him slide off of his lap and down to the floor. “Let’s see if I need to change your name in my contacts.”

Kurt opens Blaine’s pants, stroking his cock through his underwear before pushing those out of his way, and he looks up with a devilish smile. “I know I don’t.”


End file.
